The Prisoner meets Hogan's Heroes in VILLAGE 13

December 2, 2009 13 comments

NO ONE ESCAPES FROM VILLAGE 13!

Yes, sometimes I frighten myself with the ideas that pop into my head. But I was thinking about the recent Prisoner remake and how it could have been better when I clicked on the television and Hogan’s Heroes was on. I’m thinking this could be a good Primetime Adventures one-shot, because I don’t think a campaign would survive the initial joke. I might even consider using Risus. Yes, it would be a comedy. It would have to be.

During World War II, the Nazis select prisoners of war seemingly at random and send them to VILLAGE 13. This would be set in Portmeirion/the “original” village, but with some Albert Speer touches and obviously Nazi iconography, like swastikas and flags. Number 2 (Col. Klink, of course) wears a Nazi uniform, but everyone else, both prisoners and staff, get issued generic resort-style clothing so you don’t know who is who. Schultz gets the Angelo Muscat role as Number 2′s Butler – tell me you can’t see it?

Hogan is Number 6, of course. The player characters are his crew. They believe they know how to tell the prisoners from the Nazis. They’ve infiltrated the place, and can leave any time the want… or so they believe. They stay because they’re collecting information on VILLAGE 13 and radioing it back to London… or so they believe. You see, the Nazis are also conducting weird science experiments there as well. Nothing too creepy or weird or dangerous to the player characters — this is a comedy, remember — and the player characters either have to sabotage the macguffin or steal the plans for it, or both. If they manage to smuggle out some scientist, there has to be a cut scene at the end showing the scientist shaking hands with Number 2, showing that the whole thing was a scam.

I really think it would be fun, in a short campaign, to use some tropes from the original Prisoner series. Everyone wakes up one morning and Village 13 is an old western town. Klink and Schultz in cowboy gear, and I’d HAVE to have General Burkhalter in that episode in robber baron gear and travelling by train (smelling a Wild Wild West crossover here, with Robert Conrad and Ross Martin guest starring). Go into Number 2′s office, and there’s the portrait of Hitler dressed up like Buffalo Bill.

Photo: I remembered seeing a picture a few years ago of Verner Klemperer in a sweater that was Village-esque. In trying to Google it, I found the picture above. I think it’s perfect, although I have no idea where it originates.