We’re all familiar with twinks and munchkins, those folks who place emphasis on “game” over “roleplaying.  They do things to get experience points and in-game swag even if it makes no logical sense in terms of character or story. They’re frequently rules lawyers so long as the rules (and loopholes) are to their advantage, becoming “rules outlaws” when something is “unfair” (i.e., doesn’t let things go their way). Most people I’ve played with have at least a small twink streak, because human beings tend to be competitive by nature. Most of us accept this behavior as just another style of play, and most gamemasters can work with it as long as it doesn’t disrupt the game or ruin the other players’ enjoyment of the game.

After some long consideration of my own play style, I’ve decided that I’m similar but opposite. “Roleplaying” is more important to me than “game” and I want my character to get what they deserve.  My play style can be as much a pain in the ass as that of the munchkin gamer. I tend to play flawed, underdog characters. Blind swordsmen, gnomes who suck at magic, unlikeable superheroes, discredited DEA agents, people with issues. Not combat monsters. There’s no challenge, for me, in playing a combat monster. It’s like playing a first-person shooter in god mode; it’s fun for a while, but it’s kind of mindless and pointless and loses its luster quickly. I don’t care about the experience points and the swag. I care about playing my character in character. I care about what my character does and how he reacts in the context of the story. I’ve decided that I’m like a temperamental method actor. I’m one of those journey-trumps-destination people. I’m an ego-driven roleplayer.

Yes, I have asked a gamemaster to not give me a powerful magic item because it didn’t suit my character. I didn’t even want to having it in order to sell it, because it made no sense to me within the plot and setting that my character would ever lay hands on such an item and it didn’t flow thematically.  I have banked XP in a point-buy game and not improved a character because increasing their skills would break the vision I had for that character. I have gotten angry when a character of mine didn’t die, because that was the best possible conclusion for that segment of the story and tied up a bunch of plot hooks. Saving the character ruined the story for me because it was a cop out, a deus ex machina that spoiled a ton of dramatic tension. I’d have rather started a new character and maintained the purity of the dead character’s core.

These days I’m fortunate that a lot of my friends and acquaintances are “story gamers” and understand what I want out of a game. They put up with my quirkiness and appreciate my dedication to the character. Some folks would say that my play style shows a lack of ego, because I’m not competing to win. But I am. I’m looking for a different sort of win. What I want, and the only thing I will settle for, is my character’s story being told properly. That’s pure ego, baby.

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